@reelhot2touch

@reelhot2touch (meg) is a friend of mine on twitter who just passed away. unfortunately i have not known her as well or for as long as some of my other friends on twitter have. however she has touched my life. only having had the opportunity to exchange messages with her for a short period of time, she is a very strong person. she is now a much stronger angel.

i know that it is tough at the moment for many of you to stay strong and positive, but to me that is what she embodies. she embodies strength and positivity. no matter what adversity she faced here on earth she always seemed to be a positive person from the chance i had to message with her. if she were here on earth with us she would exude her strength and positivity towards us. sadly her journey here has just ended. however her journey is also just beginning.

she is moving onto something more powerful than she could accomplish here in the flesh. while here she was an angel among us as i can see how much she has touched peoples lives. but one can only do so much in the flesh, and when that work is done here, we are called. we are called to do more powerful work. to touch many more lives that we couldn't touch or reach in the flesh.

we must band together and be strong for one another. we all need strength, compassion and love from one another even more so now than ever. i know its not easy to stay strong when we are faced with a loss, i have faced many losses in life, i know it's not an easy thing to handle, especially the loss of a loved one. yes we may have lost someone we care about as far as a friend or someone we love, but have we really?

she will always be with each of us. it may be tough to see this now, but she will be. there will be a day when each of us sees this. you will see that her presence is always with us. it may be realized sooner for some than others as we all have our own journeys, and some of us will need the extra strength at different points. when that time comes is when the presence, strength and positivity of our angel will be realized.





if anyone reads this that doesn't follow me on twitter please feel free to message me at @porkchop103074 and if anyone needs to write more than what is available to the allotted 140 charachters, please feel free to comment this blog, or send me an email to porkchop103074@hotmail.com
also incase anyone is wondering where my avatar support ribbon came from copy and paste this link if you'd like it: Support In Memory of @reelhot2touch, add a #twibbon to your avatar now! - http://bit.ly/bPdx1o

may your body and soul rest in peace

what do i value?

in a world where it seems that there is negativity everywhere you look on the news, i value something that can be very tough to find. think about it.....how many positive and inspiring stories in the paper and on the news do you see? the next time you turn on the news remember what i just asked,and you'll see. very rarely do you see something inspiring or positive. you see crime, war, poverty, poor economy, homelessness. why does it seem that we are so drawn to negativity? to me negativity is a cancer. it spreads and spreads and eats away at its surroundings.

perfect example is a coworker of mine. from the time he gets in til the time he leaves 90% of the time he is complaining and being negative. that leads to more negativity in the department. i will fully admit that it is very tough to stay positive at work sometimes because of this. i have backup to get me thru the tough days where i feel the claws of negativity scratching at my back and trying to take hold of me and drag me down.

its partly because of some of the things i have gone thru in life. from my accident on 2004, and almost not being here, and then hitting rock bottom in 2007 and almost not being here(yes i was VERY close to...) i feel like i am the phoenix that has risen from the ashes to become something greater.

its also because i have some wonderful friends. i look back at how many incredible people i have met since these two previous close calls. now i know why i survived these two incidents. my work here is not done. i still have people to meet and i still have lives to make an impact on.

i would like to think that i have been an influence on people. i would also like to think that i have made a difference in my friends lives, especially those who have made a major difference in my life.

so you may ask what i value since i didn't say it outright. it's between the lines. i value positivity, friendship, and making a difference. (wow i'm tearing up at the moment knowing what my closing line is going to be......those of you on twitter know i can be naughty, and also have a very deep side. those of you who i have confided in also know that i am an emotional person as well)

when my time should come and i no longer walk the earth, no matter when in life it may be. today, tomorrow, 50 years from now. know this: i may not be here in the flesh, or a text, tweet, or phone call away. i will still have the 3 things i value the most and i have moved on to bigger work, making more of a difference:


I AM NOW YOUR ANGEL

drinking and driving part 2

so im in my car and i leave. they say most accidents happen close to home, well i can truthfully say this one did. it was LITERALLY around the corner from where i lived. i leave the lot and go around the corner and i feel the back end of my car kick out on me. no big deal ordinarily, but because i was so messed up, i couldnt compensate properly so i start zigzagging across the street (fortunately it was a oneway). i zigzagged til i hit the curb blew a tire and probably broke the tierod as well because i couldn't steer off the curb no matter how hard i pulled the wheel. i see the telephone pole coming closer and closer. fighting harder and harder to pull off the curb when OHSHIT!!!!!!!!!!

i wake up to a bright light, wondering if this is the light at the end of the tunnel they always talk about. saying to myself over and over i dont want to die, its not my time yet. praying; please dont let me die on the side of the road. i start to focus more and realize that it is a police officer. SHIT! now im screwed.

he says to me "do you know what happened?" "yeah" i said " i had a fucking accident!" (im now really aggravated: dui, no car insurance, no health insurance) officer says to me "dont even try to tell me you werent drinking tonight because i could smell it as soon as i got out of the car. are you able to get out from the vehicle" "no" i said (from the impact i had stuffed myself into the dashboard, hands stuck under the column, and feet stuck under the glovebox) "well let me go call rescue and theyll get you out" the cop said.

now im really aggravated knowing everything im up against, even more aggravated that im stuck in the damn car, the absolute WORST pain i have ever been in. so i'm me (the old me lol)getting REALLY aggravated and i tense up and somehow i pulled my hands out from under the column. SWEET im thinking, now i can at least get unstuck. grab my feet pull them out, and pull myself out of the car. stand up and SMACK!!!! i fall on the ground. cop turns around and yells out HOLY SHIT! runs over(i did all this before he got back to his car) "YOU?! you got yourself out of that?" he said. all nonchalant i reply "yeah." he asks me why i fell so i told him "idk theres something wrong with my leg, cuz as soon as i stood up it went out on me." he helps me up and asks if ill please sit on the curb til rescue gets here. "sure no problem" i tell him "i just wanted to be unstuck".

i dont remember much after that til halfway thru my ambulance ride to the hospital. don't remember much after that til im waking up at about 4am in the e.r. and then again at 845. still no clue what happened as far as injuries, i was just concerned about making it to work on time lol (yeah i have a strong work ethic haha) reaching for my busted cell phone to call work and let them know i was going to be late. nurse comes running over yelling at me to put it away and asks "WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU CANT USE THAT IN HERE?!?!" told her i wanted to let work know i was gonna be a little bit late. she says "honey do you even know what happened to you last night?" i said "yeah i had an accident, but dont know the extent of my injuries." "WELL" she said "you dislocated your hip so youre gonna be more than "just a little late"

eventually my roomie finds out what happened and they come to see me. turns out i had broken my ankle and dislocated and fractured my hip. so yeah that turned into being about 4 months late for work. i had to go for surgery and have a plate put in my hip with 5 screws to help fuse the bone together. i was in the hospital for a month. i had 2 weeks of in hospital rehab, and then a couple of months at home. during my inhome rehab is when the livestrong bracelets first came out.

i was having a tough time with my rehab at home one day and wanted to just say fuckit and let it heal however and just deal with it cuz the pain was so bad. i looked at the bracelet and thought if lance armstrong can overcome what he went thru and be as successful as he is, then my little rehab is nothing. i sucked it up and continued with it. that was initially why i got my livestrong tattoo



since then ive known quite a few people who have battled cancer and lost, battled cancer and won, and are battling cancer. so it also goes out to them.

did i learn a lesson from that night? yes a very valuable one. life is precious. value everyday that you wakeup and make the most of it. live each day as if its your last. dont sweat the small things(still learning to not sweat the small things as once in a great while they get to me but, so far and few between i basically dont sweat the small things, nowhere near the way i used to) in life, as there are things much larger to worry about. that night changed me in a major way. changed me for the better.

i have changed SO much since then its almost like: "the night i was reborn"

drinking and driving

ok so this was going to be posted on the 28th as its the 6 yr anniversary but fuckit. im posting it now lol. i'm not exactly sure why after 6 yrs i have been thinking about this so much lately, i mean its not like a mile stone like 5,10,15 years etc lol. as some people know i was a dumbass and had a bad dui accident, well here are the events of that night, that i still can relive like they happened yesterday.


the trees were in the impound lot.

ok so anyway heres what an innocent night of fun ended up causing. my roomie at the time and our friends wanted to have an incredible night at the club, so a bunch of us got together at my place, and we started to pregame. pizza alcohol and fun ran rampant thru my apartment. i ended up having 7 slippery nipple shots, 1 and a half 20 ounce bottles of premixed long island ice teas and a few green apple smirnoff ices. (haha told you i remembered it like yesterday) go time came and we all left. my roomie had no pockets in her jeans so i was the only one with the keys to get back in, no big we were all going back after the club anyhow.

get to the club and we ran into an ex of my roomies we were cool with. he lived in fall river, ma the club was in providence, ri and we lived in pawtucket, ri. we all split off into our own groups having fun. i'm pretty well lit at this point so im skipping, yes skipping thru the club(fuck id be a goof and do that sober lol). i get thirsty and go to the bar for a drink. ended up knowing the bartender who was hot, i flirted with her as she fed me drinks. i ended up having 5 long island ice teas and 3 greatful deads in about 15 minutes or so, and because i was flirting, the tipping got more with each drink and the drinks became stronger. well with all this alcohol in my system you can imagine i was pretty well drunk at this point, BUT i still managed to keep tabs on someone who ws driving so i would be able to get home.

my roomies ex got separated from us somehow(maybe the skipping scared him away lmao)my fon starts blowing up. its 2 of my friends with my roomie saying theyre going back to the apartment because she doesnt feel good and wants to go to sleep. her ex was supposed to stay over because it was a long ride for them to bring him home and then go back to the apartment.this is where the fun starts to go wrong......

i end up getting home and letting the 3 of them in when my roomie asks where her ex is. i tell her hes still in providence cuz i was told to come home ASAP. its now about 215 220 am and shes throwing a tantrum on the floor literally laying on my kitchen floor kicking and screaming that i have to go get him. at this point i KNOW im in no shape to drive. looking at the time i say ugh waht the fuck ill go get him!!!! her friend tells me im too fucked up to drive and she wants to go with me to know i make it ok....ummm hello should she have not grabbed my keys from me? thats neither here nor there. something inside me is telling me that something is going to go wrong.. a horrible gut feeling. i talk her out of going with me and head downstairs and get in my car. this is where everything goes horribly wrong............................ to be continued

sunday afternoon tunred int about me part#2

so this is just a random blog. i can be very random so this works well to fill the gap between blogs. just kinda sittin around on a sunday afternoon chiolin with my friend listening to some music, and having a beer.
ok uuuummmm so maybe its more than justr a beer:



its all good tho im not driving, definitely learned my lesson with that shit. speaking of......its gonna be 6 years at the end of the month since my lifechanging accident.........having a good day so im not sure i want to ruin it rehashing that event. even tho its been so long it still makes me tear up at times....

so ive just realized ive known my friend for like 7 or 8 years and it really doenst seem like it. he had burnt me for $40 a couple of summers ago, but hes made up for it. i stopped talking to him over it for awhile as is expected. but things have since cleared up and were cool again.

i guess this is now added as part 2 on my about me blog now....looks like i kinda segued into it...

as far as the about me part......1 of the things that some of my twitter friends know im a good friend. im the type of person who will give you the shirt off my back and go out of my way for my friends. im very loyal and will always be there for my friends no matter what as is evdienced by the above.......friendship is very important to me..........

the pickup

ok so we’ll switch it up. We’ll go a little bit naughty this time. True story. I was working at BJ’s Wholesale Club(pausing while you get the laughing out of your systems cuz of the name…….looking at watch, ok comeon now people compose yourselves so I can continue… whistling the jeopardy theme song…ok may I? lol) part time quite a few years ago. And this is when I started coming out of my shell. Do I tell you about my exploits with co-workers, or picking up a girl one night. All are equally as good. We’ll go with picking up the girl.

Ok so a few of the guys from work, went out to the club. Some of their girlfriends showed up for a bit which was totally cool, and I ran into a group of girls I knew totally randomly. So the night is off to a great start. I’m a flirty person, some of it just playful some of it serious, and my friend kristen knew this, and so she starts busting my balls and asks me if I saw anything that caught my eye. At that point I had to respond, “no nothing has caugh………wait someone just did” then someone bumped into me. I had to turn and see what the hell, so I lost eye contact. It was my friend kevin who was stumbling drunk. I was like “dude! I just had my eye on a girl and you made me lose her” Drunkenly he yells GOOOOOO!!!!!!! FIND HER!!!!!!!!! It was so funny I still remember exactly the pitch tone and sound of how he yelled that lololol.

I really wasn’t planning on the night to unfold how it had. I had no atm card, and $30 to my name and enough gas to get home. I had fun pregaming, so I didn’t have to spend a lot when I went out. (this is pre dui btw).

Anyway I start to meander around the bar looking for this girl. In a dark club I noticed her eyes and that was what immediatley sparked my interest. Everything after I had seen her eyes, um yeah WOW! about 5’5” long curly brown hair, hazel eyes, and a body type im a sucker for. someone I would never have imagined I would ever have a chance with. I go to the other side of the club where the pool tables are and HOLY SHIT! There she is at the bar BY HERSELF. All nervous im like wtfwtfwtfwtf…..BOTH the angel and the lil devil on my shoulder were yelling at me to not be a pussy. The devil poked me in the ass with his pitchfork and the angel carried me and flew me over now I really gotta do something. So I kinda stammered and said “hi, im scott. I saw you earlier and you caught my eye. I wanted to see if I could buy you a drink before but someone bumped into me and when I turned back you were gone” “hi scott im tammy” she responds. AWESOME she acknowledged me! So i said to her “what are you drinking tonight? We’re both here at the bar and already have a fresh drink so I guess that blows my chances on that.” She turns towards me and tells me she’s drinking a long island. I asked her “how are they here, ive never had one from here before. I do love long islands tho.” She looks at me and smiles and tells me to take a sip. I do, and then I order one. We end up going and sitting down, we’re both feeling really good lol.

Now here we are sitting at the table and I’m looking at this girl in total amazement that I am actually talking to her and we’re having a great time. Another girl comes over and ends up sitting down and talking to her, it turns out to be her friend checking up on her. First thing she asks is if shes ok and who I am. Tammy tells her shes fine and says this is scott I just met him. I turn my attention toward her friend and introduce myself. (this just as im getting ready to ask her for her number) I said “hi I’m scott, I came down with a few of my friends, and saw your friend here and thought id say hi and introduce myself.” So she asks about me, felt like I was being interrogated but, it was all good I respect her for looking out for her friend. She says “ok you seem really cool, you can still talk to my friend” hmmm I got the friends approval. So I said “I was just about ready to ask tammy for her number I’ll be honest. But you came along and you really seem to care about her and shes really drunk. Do you mind if I get her number? If not its totally cool.” She talks to tammy, and I get the number. SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!! Her friend goes off to find some people, and tammy asks me to dance.

We go to the dance floor and start really dancing. Grinding touching fondling. Then she says to me. “what would you do if I kissed you.” Devil and angel are like OH NO SHE DI’INT …me being me I say “shit ima kiss you back!” dancing a little more, her ass grinding on my crotch I lean into her ear and say “ok my turn. What would you do if I kissed you.” “kiss me and find out” she said…….devil on my shoulder knocked out the angel so I turned her around and we were making out on the dance floor. We got so lost in each other next thing I know the lights are on. Looking around none of my friends are to be found theyre gone lol. At the end of the night there was a girl selling roses in the club so I bought one and gave it to tammy, told her my friends are gone, and asked if she minded if I walked her to her car with her friends. She says theyre going to foxwoods and asked if I wanted to go. SHIT remember earlier I only had $30 no atm card and enough gas to get home YIKES! Me being an idiot said SURE! Thinking I could make it there and back home. Halfway there I fess up to her and tell her I don’t have enough gas to make it, and my predicament. She tells me not to worry about it shell call her friends and tell her she cant go. So turn around we go I find out where she lives aye carumba. No way am I making it. Fuckfuckfuck!

Now im shittin my pants worrying. Were holding hands and I said to her “I know we just met but can you either let me borrow $5 and ill pay you back tomorrow or we go to my house just so I can get my atm card then ill bring you home.” What she says next OMG…. “welllll I can always just stay at your house right?” wowowowow im thinking, she just invited herself over! Mind you I also have to work at 9am so what do I do? We get back to my house and I call out! Haha

We get in my room and start kissing, lay in the bed and start to fool around a little bit. FUCKME WAS I HORNY! I reached for the button on her jeans, and she stops me. No I can’t, im not feeling to good. (dieing sound of super mario from super mario brothers echos thru my head) but I respect her, tell her no problem, ill go sleep on the futon if you wanna stay in the bed, its more comfy than the futon. She tells me no she wants me to hold her.
Haha not the ending you were expecting was it? While nothing transpired sexually that night we did go on to be friends and saw each other for awhile, but sadly life makes things change sometimes, and we drifted a apart. They say people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Obviously it wasn’t for a lifetime. But I wonder, was it for a reason? Or a season?

about me part 1

HMMMMMM......OK so this "about me" blog, yeahp tougher than I thought lol.i'm kinda stumped as to how and where to begin. do i list out a timeline of things that have happened and made me who i am or do i just wing it and figure it out as i go?



ok looks like i'm just winging it as i go, which is good cuz a lot of the times i'm fly by the seat of my pantsish and spontaneous. other times i do like to have a plan set out. i have a few personal quotes i've made that represent me the best. there's the saying "he or she marches to the beat of a different drummer." to state that someone is different than the norm,but in essence that also kinda means that somehow, someway they are also the same as someone else, no? well my first quote: "i don't march to the beat of a different drummer. i beat up the drummer boy stole the drums and now i'm my OWN drummer". i feel that describes me very well, as there are many different sides to me and i don't think i fall into any one particular type of category.



now that,that has been established, let's go on to the "about me" part. you see a guy who shaves his head and has a long goattee and tats (granted i only have four and i'm not covered in them but still) and what is the first thing that comes to mind? i have a scorpion with a red circle (sun maybe idk what the heck its supposed to be i just thought it was cool and i'm a scorpio) i had 2 people think the tat was because i was in a gang! ok so we have people out there who do judge by the cover but there are people who don't judge a book by its cover. however stereotypically what does one think? sometimes we start forming images of someone based on looks: like what type of person they are, what kind of music they like, how they treat people etc.



a little more about me, we'll start with clothing style. a lot of times people will get caught up in dressing in one particular style of clothing.not me, i wear what i like regardless of what style it belongs to and i have NOTHING wrong with people who do only dress in one style. if that's what you like it's what you like, who am i to judge? most of you on twitter see how i normally dress(t-shirt and jeans, boots, bandana or winter hat depending on the weather) i also love hats (STILL trying to find a Toronto Raptors hat btw ;) hehe)and i have a decent collection of jereys (baseball football basketball etc) . i also have nice dress shirts and nice dressy clothes as well. again i buy what i like and what i think is cool regardless of what "style" it belongs to. sadly too many of us judge others based solely on appearance. i worked at citizen's bank in a call center and had to dress nice and take the bus everyday. how people reacted to me when riding the bus dressed for work all fancy, and when i wore day to day wear tshirt, or hoodie, hat and jeans was astounding. i have an example from just the other day. i was wearing a nice plain hoodie from old navy and a pair of nice jeans, well kept boots, and a black winter hat. i was out for a walk leaving my neighborhood , when an older lady (im guessing in her 60'sish) is walking down the street on my side. i would say we were maybe about 4 phone poles apart when i saw her clutch her purse pick up her pace and cross the street still clutching it as she continued past me on the otherside of the street. i understand being cautious in today's world, but how does that make me feel? what would you have done had you not known me? this next example isn't about me but what happened in the news in 1 town over from me. nice well off town had 9 high school kids arrested for making homemade soda bottle bombs. 1 blew up a mailbox, and another was placed under someones car. to look at these kids pictures in the paper, you wouldn't expect something like that from them based on how they are dressed.what if i dressed "preppy", or "businesslike". how about "sporty" or "rocky". what if i was wearing ripped raggedy & dirty jeans? to not know me what would you think? would you classify me into the sterotypical category for each? i try not to judge or categorize based upon how someone is dressed, because how you dress doesn't necessarily have to reflect how you are as a person.



noooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww do i move on to personality, likes, dislikes, or interests next hmmmmmm.......welllll i'm off to ponder, so i'll leave you with this as part 1......hope you like it so far :)