@reelhot2touch

@reelhot2touch (meg) is a friend of mine on twitter who just passed away. unfortunately i have not known her as well or for as long as some of my other friends on twitter have. however she has touched my life. only having had the opportunity to exchange messages with her for a short period of time, she is a very strong person. she is now a much stronger angel.

i know that it is tough at the moment for many of you to stay strong and positive, but to me that is what she embodies. she embodies strength and positivity. no matter what adversity she faced here on earth she always seemed to be a positive person from the chance i had to message with her. if she were here on earth with us she would exude her strength and positivity towards us. sadly her journey here has just ended. however her journey is also just beginning.

she is moving onto something more powerful than she could accomplish here in the flesh. while here she was an angel among us as i can see how much she has touched peoples lives. but one can only do so much in the flesh, and when that work is done here, we are called. we are called to do more powerful work. to touch many more lives that we couldn't touch or reach in the flesh.

we must band together and be strong for one another. we all need strength, compassion and love from one another even more so now than ever. i know its not easy to stay strong when we are faced with a loss, i have faced many losses in life, i know it's not an easy thing to handle, especially the loss of a loved one. yes we may have lost someone we care about as far as a friend or someone we love, but have we really?

she will always be with each of us. it may be tough to see this now, but she will be. there will be a day when each of us sees this. you will see that her presence is always with us. it may be realized sooner for some than others as we all have our own journeys, and some of us will need the extra strength at different points. when that time comes is when the presence, strength and positivity of our angel will be realized.





if anyone reads this that doesn't follow me on twitter please feel free to message me at @porkchop103074 and if anyone needs to write more than what is available to the allotted 140 charachters, please feel free to comment this blog, or send me an email to porkchop103074@hotmail.com
also incase anyone is wondering where my avatar support ribbon came from copy and paste this link if you'd like it: Support In Memory of @reelhot2touch, add a #twibbon to your avatar now! - http://bit.ly/bPdx1o

may your body and soul rest in peace

what do i value?

in a world where it seems that there is negativity everywhere you look on the news, i value something that can be very tough to find. think about it.....how many positive and inspiring stories in the paper and on the news do you see? the next time you turn on the news remember what i just asked,and you'll see. very rarely do you see something inspiring or positive. you see crime, war, poverty, poor economy, homelessness. why does it seem that we are so drawn to negativity? to me negativity is a cancer. it spreads and spreads and eats away at its surroundings.

perfect example is a coworker of mine. from the time he gets in til the time he leaves 90% of the time he is complaining and being negative. that leads to more negativity in the department. i will fully admit that it is very tough to stay positive at work sometimes because of this. i have backup to get me thru the tough days where i feel the claws of negativity scratching at my back and trying to take hold of me and drag me down.

its partly because of some of the things i have gone thru in life. from my accident on 2004, and almost not being here, and then hitting rock bottom in 2007 and almost not being here(yes i was VERY close to...) i feel like i am the phoenix that has risen from the ashes to become something greater.

its also because i have some wonderful friends. i look back at how many incredible people i have met since these two previous close calls. now i know why i survived these two incidents. my work here is not done. i still have people to meet and i still have lives to make an impact on.

i would like to think that i have been an influence on people. i would also like to think that i have made a difference in my friends lives, especially those who have made a major difference in my life.

so you may ask what i value since i didn't say it outright. it's between the lines. i value positivity, friendship, and making a difference. (wow i'm tearing up at the moment knowing what my closing line is going to be......those of you on twitter know i can be naughty, and also have a very deep side. those of you who i have confided in also know that i am an emotional person as well)

when my time should come and i no longer walk the earth, no matter when in life it may be. today, tomorrow, 50 years from now. know this: i may not be here in the flesh, or a text, tweet, or phone call away. i will still have the 3 things i value the most and i have moved on to bigger work, making more of a difference:


I AM NOW YOUR ANGEL

drinking and driving part 2

so im in my car and i leave. they say most accidents happen close to home, well i can truthfully say this one did. it was LITERALLY around the corner from where i lived. i leave the lot and go around the corner and i feel the back end of my car kick out on me. no big deal ordinarily, but because i was so messed up, i couldnt compensate properly so i start zigzagging across the street (fortunately it was a oneway). i zigzagged til i hit the curb blew a tire and probably broke the tierod as well because i couldn't steer off the curb no matter how hard i pulled the wheel. i see the telephone pole coming closer and closer. fighting harder and harder to pull off the curb when OHSHIT!!!!!!!!!!

i wake up to a bright light, wondering if this is the light at the end of the tunnel they always talk about. saying to myself over and over i dont want to die, its not my time yet. praying; please dont let me die on the side of the road. i start to focus more and realize that it is a police officer. SHIT! now im screwed.

he says to me "do you know what happened?" "yeah" i said " i had a fucking accident!" (im now really aggravated: dui, no car insurance, no health insurance) officer says to me "dont even try to tell me you werent drinking tonight because i could smell it as soon as i got out of the car. are you able to get out from the vehicle" "no" i said (from the impact i had stuffed myself into the dashboard, hands stuck under the column, and feet stuck under the glovebox) "well let me go call rescue and theyll get you out" the cop said.

now im really aggravated knowing everything im up against, even more aggravated that im stuck in the damn car, the absolute WORST pain i have ever been in. so i'm me (the old me lol)getting REALLY aggravated and i tense up and somehow i pulled my hands out from under the column. SWEET im thinking, now i can at least get unstuck. grab my feet pull them out, and pull myself out of the car. stand up and SMACK!!!! i fall on the ground. cop turns around and yells out HOLY SHIT! runs over(i did all this before he got back to his car) "YOU?! you got yourself out of that?" he said. all nonchalant i reply "yeah." he asks me why i fell so i told him "idk theres something wrong with my leg, cuz as soon as i stood up it went out on me." he helps me up and asks if ill please sit on the curb til rescue gets here. "sure no problem" i tell him "i just wanted to be unstuck".

i dont remember much after that til halfway thru my ambulance ride to the hospital. don't remember much after that til im waking up at about 4am in the e.r. and then again at 845. still no clue what happened as far as injuries, i was just concerned about making it to work on time lol (yeah i have a strong work ethic haha) reaching for my busted cell phone to call work and let them know i was going to be late. nurse comes running over yelling at me to put it away and asks "WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU CANT USE THAT IN HERE?!?!" told her i wanted to let work know i was gonna be a little bit late. she says "honey do you even know what happened to you last night?" i said "yeah i had an accident, but dont know the extent of my injuries." "WELL" she said "you dislocated your hip so youre gonna be more than "just a little late"

eventually my roomie finds out what happened and they come to see me. turns out i had broken my ankle and dislocated and fractured my hip. so yeah that turned into being about 4 months late for work. i had to go for surgery and have a plate put in my hip with 5 screws to help fuse the bone together. i was in the hospital for a month. i had 2 weeks of in hospital rehab, and then a couple of months at home. during my inhome rehab is when the livestrong bracelets first came out.

i was having a tough time with my rehab at home one day and wanted to just say fuckit and let it heal however and just deal with it cuz the pain was so bad. i looked at the bracelet and thought if lance armstrong can overcome what he went thru and be as successful as he is, then my little rehab is nothing. i sucked it up and continued with it. that was initially why i got my livestrong tattoo



since then ive known quite a few people who have battled cancer and lost, battled cancer and won, and are battling cancer. so it also goes out to them.

did i learn a lesson from that night? yes a very valuable one. life is precious. value everyday that you wakeup and make the most of it. live each day as if its your last. dont sweat the small things(still learning to not sweat the small things as once in a great while they get to me but, so far and few between i basically dont sweat the small things, nowhere near the way i used to) in life, as there are things much larger to worry about. that night changed me in a major way. changed me for the better.

i have changed SO much since then its almost like: "the night i was reborn"

drinking and driving

ok so this was going to be posted on the 28th as its the 6 yr anniversary but fuckit. im posting it now lol. i'm not exactly sure why after 6 yrs i have been thinking about this so much lately, i mean its not like a mile stone like 5,10,15 years etc lol. as some people know i was a dumbass and had a bad dui accident, well here are the events of that night, that i still can relive like they happened yesterday.


the trees were in the impound lot.

ok so anyway heres what an innocent night of fun ended up causing. my roomie at the time and our friends wanted to have an incredible night at the club, so a bunch of us got together at my place, and we started to pregame. pizza alcohol and fun ran rampant thru my apartment. i ended up having 7 slippery nipple shots, 1 and a half 20 ounce bottles of premixed long island ice teas and a few green apple smirnoff ices. (haha told you i remembered it like yesterday) go time came and we all left. my roomie had no pockets in her jeans so i was the only one with the keys to get back in, no big we were all going back after the club anyhow.

get to the club and we ran into an ex of my roomies we were cool with. he lived in fall river, ma the club was in providence, ri and we lived in pawtucket, ri. we all split off into our own groups having fun. i'm pretty well lit at this point so im skipping, yes skipping thru the club(fuck id be a goof and do that sober lol). i get thirsty and go to the bar for a drink. ended up knowing the bartender who was hot, i flirted with her as she fed me drinks. i ended up having 5 long island ice teas and 3 greatful deads in about 15 minutes or so, and because i was flirting, the tipping got more with each drink and the drinks became stronger. well with all this alcohol in my system you can imagine i was pretty well drunk at this point, BUT i still managed to keep tabs on someone who ws driving so i would be able to get home.

my roomies ex got separated from us somehow(maybe the skipping scared him away lmao)my fon starts blowing up. its 2 of my friends with my roomie saying theyre going back to the apartment because she doesnt feel good and wants to go to sleep. her ex was supposed to stay over because it was a long ride for them to bring him home and then go back to the apartment.this is where the fun starts to go wrong......

i end up getting home and letting the 3 of them in when my roomie asks where her ex is. i tell her hes still in providence cuz i was told to come home ASAP. its now about 215 220 am and shes throwing a tantrum on the floor literally laying on my kitchen floor kicking and screaming that i have to go get him. at this point i KNOW im in no shape to drive. looking at the time i say ugh waht the fuck ill go get him!!!! her friend tells me im too fucked up to drive and she wants to go with me to know i make it ok....ummm hello should she have not grabbed my keys from me? thats neither here nor there. something inside me is telling me that something is going to go wrong.. a horrible gut feeling. i talk her out of going with me and head downstairs and get in my car. this is where everything goes horribly wrong............................ to be continued

sunday afternoon tunred int about me part#2

so this is just a random blog. i can be very random so this works well to fill the gap between blogs. just kinda sittin around on a sunday afternoon chiolin with my friend listening to some music, and having a beer.
ok uuuummmm so maybe its more than justr a beer:



its all good tho im not driving, definitely learned my lesson with that shit. speaking of......its gonna be 6 years at the end of the month since my lifechanging accident.........having a good day so im not sure i want to ruin it rehashing that event. even tho its been so long it still makes me tear up at times....

so ive just realized ive known my friend for like 7 or 8 years and it really doenst seem like it. he had burnt me for $40 a couple of summers ago, but hes made up for it. i stopped talking to him over it for awhile as is expected. but things have since cleared up and were cool again.

i guess this is now added as part 2 on my about me blog now....looks like i kinda segued into it...

as far as the about me part......1 of the things that some of my twitter friends know im a good friend. im the type of person who will give you the shirt off my back and go out of my way for my friends. im very loyal and will always be there for my friends no matter what as is evdienced by the above.......friendship is very important to me..........